MOTHER-O’-LAW: For 10.000 years have I roamed across Cosmos. Yeah! I have. Me? A celestial body, similar to nothing. An organ, sized like a smallish planet, with 10.000 daughters of the same quality, and… SAVANTOVIT: me, a four-faced cleaner. MOTHER-O’-LAW: For 10.000 years—from hole to hole— he has cleaned our caverns, without broom or detergents Lo! How well he has cleaned, while we relaxed and took delight in his MUSCULUS LINGUAE! A fantastic object, that washes my lips and wounds, or in other words: SAVANTOVIT: Mother-o’-Law’s request MOTHER-O’-LAW: is fulfilled. She’s Very Happy! SAVANTOVIT: This happiness is shared by me: the Toyboy of Mother-o’-Law. MOTHER-O’-LAW: Hey little Toyboy, how are you doing? SAVANTOVIT: Four Finns are cleaning this planet on a daily basis. Four Finns are passionate about good hygiene. We don’t know why. It just happened that one day we were here—you and I— MOTHER-O’-LAW: and you gave a thorough cleaning to my celestial body; SAVANTOVIT: we became a radar pair. FINN NO. 4 (SAD SAVANT): To tell the truth, I love madame Mother-o’-Law. She’s the mother of mothers, whose equal is not to be found. SAVANTOVIT: But! 10.000 years at work is hard on a gigolo’s knees… and neck and tongue… FINN NO. 4 (SAD SAVANT): and, believe me, the number of skin folds do not decrease. The number remains unchanged, while my hair fades to grey THE 10.000 DAUGHTERS OF MOTHER-O’-LAW: Savantovit! THE CHOIR: Aeons come and pass THE 10.000 DAUGHTERS-O’-LAW: and you’re not getting any younger. MOTHER-O’-LAW: How will it end? MOTHER-O’-LAW & SAVANTOVIT: The answer is to be found in the next videos. M & THE 10.000 DAUGHTERS-O-LAW: Four Finns are cleaning this planet on a daily basis. Four Finns are passionate about good hygiene. MOTHER-O’-LAW & SAVANTOVIT: We don’t know why. It just happened that one day we were here—you and I— MOTHER-O’-LAW: and you gave a thorough cleaning to my celestial body; SAVANTOVIT: we became a radar pair. FINN NO. 3 (SATISFIED SAVANT): I am so tired. MOTHER-O’-LAW & THE 10.000 DAUGHTERS-O-LAW: Savantovit! Verily, you’re kind and sweet but not a perpetual motion machine. FINN NO. 1 (BINOCULAR SAVANT): Is there a chance for us FINN NO. 2 (TRINOCULAR SAVANT): to find peace and be granted a pension? SAVANTOVIT: Mother-o’-Law!? Any thoughts on that? EVERYONE: Four Finns are cleaning this planet on a daily basis. Four Finns are passionate about good hygiene. EVERYONE AND YOU TOO: We don’t know why. EVERYONE: It just happened that one day we were here—you and I— EVERYONE AND YOU TOO: and you gave a thorough cleaning to my celestial body; MOTHER-O’-LAW: we became a radar pair. THE CHOIR: Why are you still here, Savantovit? FINN NO. 3 (SATISTIED SAVANT): Sure, here is warm and cozy, always. FINN NO. 1 (BINOCULAR SAVANT): But you are a little alone, enough. FINN NO. 2 (TRINOCULOR SAVANT): Should I pick out a roll cake? FINN NO. 4 (SAD SAVANT): Mm. A DAUGHTER-O’-LAW: Savantefin! FINN NO. 4 (SAD SAVANT): Well-no SAVANTOVIT: Come here, you must come here! Come here, you must come here! Lick, lick, lick, lick, lick! Lick, lick, lick, lick, lick! Lick, lick, lick, lick, lick! THE 10.000 DAUGHTERS-O-LAW: Ah, that was nice. SAME DAUGHTER-O’-LAW AS BEFORE: Now I am ready. SAVANTOVIT: Oh! Get power. FINN NO. 3 (SATISTIED SAVANT): Salus populi suprema lex esto. SAVANTOVIT: Exhale. FINN NO. 4 (SAD SAVANT): Well-no! ANOTHER DAUGHTER-O’-LAW: Come here, you must come here! Come here, you must come here! FINN NO. 4 (SAD SAVANT): Come here, you must come here!

BINOCULAR SAVANT: Look! TRINOCULAR SAVANT: A Daughter-O’-Law! SATISFIED SAVANT: Time for a scrub! No rest, no peace! SAD SAVANT: Look. A hole to be scrubbed. No rest. No peace. Only agony and anxiety. Hasten, dash to every muse! Lick with care. Polish with great care. The entropy must be slowed. This is the court of The Crimson Queen; leave no trash. BINOCULAR SAVANT: Look! SATISFIED SAVANT: Come plethe! TRINOCULAR SAVANT: Come plethe! SAD SAVANT: Come, pleASe! BINOCULAR SAVANT: Look! A skin fold never seen before. TRINOCULAR SAVANT: What’s hidden inside? Secretion? Genital fungus/fungi? SATISFIED SAVANT: Or is it a toilet roll? BINOCULAR SAVANT: No, a papyrus scroll! TRINOCULAR SAVANT: O, let me have a look! SAD SAVANT: No, let ME have that look. THE NARRATOR: Seems like there’s going to be a lot of trouble tonight. SATISFIED SAVANT: But then Binocular Savant says: BINOCULAR SAVANT: What do we have here? A TRINOCULAR SAVANT: parchment, with an illustration of SATISFIED SAVANT: something extremely unknown! TRINOCULAR SAVANT: It is a “mistair balloon” BINOCULAR SAVANT: made of two balls and a pole. THE NARRATOR: Boom-boom… Savantovit’s heart is pounding… a speedy run through vulverts… with, in hand, a drawing of a spacecraft and an illustration of something that is interesting to us: UNKNOWN: An instrument for baby production. THE NARRATOR: Soon little babies will come around. A DAUGHTER-O’-LAW: Yes, soon! TRINOCULAR SAVANT: What do we have here! A parchment! With an illustration of SAVANTOVIT: la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la? UNKNOWN: Something unknown. SAVANTOVIT: Will the document give us keys to our freedom and happiness? BINOCULAR SAVANT: And to the survival of The Residents of This Planet? Let’s go fast—no, run—to Mother-o’-Law!

BINOCULAR SAVANT: Most venerable Super-Vulva! MOTHER-O’-LAW: What have you found? BINOCULAR SAVANT: We’ve found… something!?! Yes, something representing something called THE OTHER THREE FINNS: “tick”! MOTHER-O’-LAW: By means of this “thick”, little babies can be generated. BINOCULAR SAVANT: We have established that we aren’t equipped with such a tick. MOTHER-O’-LAW: Alas, no… O! Alas! BINOCULAR SAVANT: Unfortunately, no… unfortunately we don’t know where it is. MOTHER-O’-LAW: Still I am without offspring; Savantovit, my dear, maybe you’re sterile? Hark! Ye shall erect a spaceship of my labia, which I am shedding now. O, Dearest: set off to seek a tick! Dearest, adieu! THE 10.000 DAUGHTERS-O’-LAW: Now you shall construct a spaceship of mummy’s labia, EVERYONE: which now has been shed! Hey little licker, set off to seek a thicker! EVERYONE AND YOU TOO: Baby boy, bonne nuit!

SAVANTOVIT: A morale-boosting tune while constructing our mistair balloon. SATISFIED SAVANT & SAD SAVANT: Yes, the mistair balloon must be erected! No rest, no peace… If anyone commands us, “clean me!”, the answer must be this: “Not now! Too much to do, no time to satisfy you – so leave us alone! Put yourself on the wailing list.” TRINOCULAR SAVANT: But maybe there’s time for a cup of coffee? BINOCULAR SAVANT: And a cupcake? SATISFIED SAVANT: I wouldn’t say no to that, would I…? SAVANTOVIT: Well, yes, maybe. Well, yes, maybe. Well, yes, maybe coffee and confection would be desirable. SAD SAVANT: Oh. It really IS. SATISFIED SAVANT: Work it! Screw it! Bang it! Laziness will be punished by a NUDE WHIPPING!! BINOCULAR SAVANT: Hee! Hee! BINOCULAR SAVANT: Specifications, please? TRINOCULAR SAVANT: Torque: One thousand newton-metres… SAD SAVANT: What did you say? TRINOCULAR SAVANT: Zero to Mach Three… 77 seconds… Non-deformable…. SAD SAVANT: Could you please repeat that again, again, again, and again? BINOCULAR SAVANT: Coefficient of friction? SAD SAVANT: Zero. BINOCULAR SAVANT: Now we’ve been building —Instead Of Licking— for too long?!? SATISFIED SAVANT: Giving oral pleasure?! – Forget about it!! A DAUGHTER-O’-LAW: In the document, please see figure number four. A FEW DAUGHTERS-O’-LAW & SAVANTOVIT: The midnight oil is burning yet, or in other words: we’re working late. SATISFIED SAVANT: The meat scraped, the skin tanned – now tighten it on our drying rack! THE OTHER THREE: Helium? SATISFIED SAVANT: In That tank! THE OTHER THREE: Aphelium! SATISFIED SAVANT: We are THERE! NOW!! SATISFIED SAVANT & SAD SAVANT: Hurry up! Throb that gristle! Pick up a hammer and pick up The Power – recover! SAVANTOVIT & THE CHOIR: The ship is ready-built! SAD SAVANT: Now, only one last night remains before we leave for unknown territory. MOTHER-O’-LAW: Hey, dear Warrior! Come here now. Now! Our history is coming to an end! A FEW DAUGHTERS-O’-LAW & SAVANTOVIT: The midnight oil is burning yet, or in other words: we’re working late. 500 DAUGHTERS-O’-LAW ON THE WAILING LIST: Ooooh! Savantovit! Polish with the greatest care! Mooore! SAD SAVANT: For thousand nights we’ve laboured, and now a last stop at Mom’s palace. SAVANTOVIT: We are ready. SATISFIED SAVANT: Yes, yes, yes! TRINOCULAR SAVANT: I am ready. BINOCULAR SAVANT: Am I? I don’t know.

SATISFIED SAVANT: From 1000 to 0001 the days have been counted down. TRINOCULAR SAVANT: Today, built out of a labium and disparate archaeological relics, SAD SAVANT: fully constructed is our spaceship. BINOCULAR SAVANT: But what is our relationship status, now that we’re off to unknown worlds? Well, this might be marvelous! And marvelous were our previous 10.000 years together. MOTHER-O’-LAW & THE 10.000 DAUGHTERS-O’-LAW: Savantly servant, come to mama! You hard-working seducer, you godlike janitor! When the Moon has risen, you must provide me with one last lick, and after that, we shall bid a bittersweet farewell. SAVANTOVIT: Most Meritorious Mother of the Law and Nothing but the Law! My time is yours. This last lick from your beloved – may it be remembered in perpetuity. A full-fledged Matriarch you are, for sure. Superior for evermore!

SAVANTOVIT: The bitter-sweet hour of parting lingers on our musculus linguae. Our saccharine faith in the future turned brackish by the salinity of yearning. Was she Aphrodite’s child? Godlike is the offspring of gods. Our Spirit yearns to linger for ever more, but too weak, is the flesh. Mother-o’-Law’s celestial body is wonderful. Her Stellar Spirit is wonderful, too. Our life with her—and the Daughters, of course—was wonderful.

THE RADIO: Hawaii is beautiful and fun! THE RADIO: Hula, hula, hula… Yes: hula, hula, hula… We’re playing ”The Honolulu Rock” tonight. THE RATIO VOICE: Be careful! We have entered an astesticloid belt – prepare for emergency landing. SAVANTOVIT: Mother trucker! What’s that thundering sound? TRINOCULAR SAVANT & SAD SAVANT: Turn on the radio again. We need peace of mind. THE BACKUP RADIO: It’s so beautiful in Hawaii. Hula, hula, hula in Honolulu… TRINOCULAR SAVANT & SAD SAVANT: Yes: hula, hula in Honolulu… BINOCULAR SAVANT: Ho! No! TRINOCULAR SAVANT & SAD SAVANT: Lu! Lu! BINOCULAR SAVANT: Yes! SATISFIED SAVANT: O, what a blessed peace of mind this is! BINOCULAR SAVANT: In Honolulu, Hawaii, it’s actually quite nice! SAD SAVANT: Darn! The alarm again… BINOCULAR SAVANT: How madly I want to be there, swimming all day long! THE RATIO VOICE: Alert! Astesticloids! BINOCULAR SAVANT & SATISFIED SAVANT Hula, hula in Honolulu. BINOCULAR SAVANT, SATISFIED SAVANT & SAD SAVANT Hula, hula in Honolulu. THE BACKUP RADIO: Hu! TRINOCULAR SAVANT: Seems that we have an engine problem. THE BACKUP RADIO: La! TRINOCULAR SAVANT: Seems that we have an engine problem. SAD SAVANT: The engine? SATISFIED SAVANT & BINOCULAR SAVANT: No. No. No. No. SAD SAVANT: No. There’s no problem with the engine, and will never be. TRINOCULAR SAVANT: Come, help me, please! SATISFIED SAVANT: Honolulu BINOCULAR SAVANT: in Hawaii SATISFIED SAVANT: is the best new thing I’ve heard for 10,000 years! THE BACKUP RADIO: Hula, hula in Honolulu! SATISFIED SAVANT, BINOCULAR SAVANT & SAD SAVANT: Ho! No! Lu! Lu! Lu! Lu! Lu! Lu! Lu! Lu! Lu! TRINOCULAR SAVANT: Seems that we have a problem with our scrotum! THE BACKUP RADIO: …in Honolulu, Hawaii! SAD SAVANT: Come, quick! Please. THE BACKUP RADIO: Hawaii is the best SAD SAVANT: – there’s a grain of truth to that. SATISFIED SAVANT & BINOCULAR SAVANT: It’s the best island, and therefore it’s quite nice being there. TRINOCULAR SAVANT: Being there, oh… It’s like being at a marvellous party! THE RATIO VOICE: For the last time, I repeat: turn the backup radio off. THE CHOIR: Obediently, our Savant turns the backup radio off and finds himselves in the middle of an astesticloid belt – Orbs of Reproductivity ponds and patters against the hull of the ship very aggressively!! SAD SAVANT: Verily, we must now surrender to the winds of fate, and commence an emergency landing on that planet in front of us. THE NARRATOR: Savantovit cannot see Mr. Johansson, but Johansson’s generals see Savantovit. THE NARRATOR & SOME GENERALS: Lo and behold! JOHANSSON: I’ve rummaged this place THOROUGHLY!! Generals – where did you hide my BABY OIL?! THE 12 GENERALS We must ask the Illuminati. JOHANSSON: But, the Illuminati – that’s ME..! And ME do NOT KNOW… where my BABY OIL is!! THE 12 GENERALS Then, probably, we’re out of stock. JOHANSSON: How DARE you say such a thing! To Mr. JOHANSSON! The head of not only the DEEP STATE, but also the FLAT EARTH! THE 12 GENERALS: What did our North North West eyes THE 12 GENERALS & JOHANSSON: just spot, up in the heavens?! TRINOCULAR SAVANT: We are muuurtherers. [Referring to their home planet, Murtherus.] SAVANTOVIT: We are muuurtherers. [Referring, once again, to Murtherus.] JOHANSSON AND A FEW GENERALS: Murderers!! Mobilize!! SAVANTOVIT: No, no, no, no, no! SATISFIED SAVANT: We don’t wanna cauth any inconvenienth! BINOCULAR SAVANT: We’re just t… tou… Tories-ts! SATISFIED SAVANT: Who don’t know where we are! SAD SAVANT: Butt we’re in perfruit of a think called “thick”. Could you pleath lead uth to thuch a tick and donate one or two spethimen/th (if not very rare)? JOHANSSON: My friends! I’m sure this will go WELL. Although I do not understand your dialect very WELL, I wish you welcome—HEARTLY welcome—to my planet! Let’s go to the hospital, meaning “the House of the Sick”. Maybe we can find a “tick”, or three… four… for you there.

DR. JOHANSSON The benefit of the sick is that they serve no purpose. NURSES Serve no purpose, yeah!!! GENERAL 1 And this is why we are now stuffing a patient with marbles NURSES (Marbles, yeah!!!) GENERAL 1 in a ward at the hospital. NURSES (The hospital!) GENERAL 1-12 Come! Let’s go to the seventh basement and knock at the door to Dr. Rock’s room, GENERAL 1 where there is a cabinet stuffed with most of this world’s women. NURSES (Chicks, chicks… CHICKS!!!) GENERAL 2-12 (Merkin, merkin … MERKIN!!!) GENERAL 1 Maybe take one of them with you? NURSES (Take one of them!) DR. JOHANSSON Please! GENERAL 1 … Back to your planet? DR. ROCK PLEASE!!! SAD SAVANT Not even here, I can find a tick. DR. JOHANSSON But Dr. Rock’s ward is the sickest ward!! BINOCULAR SAVANT But, hm – what does Doctor Rock have between his legs? MR. JOHANSSON Oops oops OOPS, close the door! And let’s have a coffee with a less perplexing patient! He’s muscular and heavily built! Despite some twaddeling about angels, he obeys all orders and is FULL OF GO! NURSES There are many thousands more of this kind! MR. JOHANSSON AND GENERAL 2-12 Stuff a sick with tiring tasks! SAVANTOVIT Dear Mr. Johansson! We have now ran through lots of wards, seen millions of patients, but none is/has what we’re looking for. MR. JOHANSSON You PICKY demons! In a very special room at the hospital… NURSES (Hu-la-la! Yes, in a VERY special room!) MR. JOHANSSON … There is a very SPECIAL patient. NURSES (Mr. Johansson is right!) GENERAL 1-12 Most Venerable Mrs. Medusa is a bit bad-tempered; see you on The Other Side. Now I’m closing the door and you’ll get to taste Death DR. JOHANSSON in the snake pit with all of the other impossible cases. SATISFIED SAVANT Charge our musculus linguae! Gobble, gobble! Stimulate the snakes, orally! Medusa likes it a lot; SATISFIED SAVANT AND MEDUSA we are buddies with a band.

MR. JOHANSSON I beg to be excused, Space Traveller. I beg to be excused, Space Traveller. Uh, uh, uuuh! I beg to be excused, Space Traveller. I beg to be excused, Space Traveller. I beg to be excused, Space Traveller. Uh, uh, uuuh! I beg to be excused, Space Traveller. It wasn’t my intention that Medusa would rape you, but I got so tired of your nagging about “tick”; what the hospital is full of, is those “sick”! BINOCULAR SAVANT Maybe everything is a big misunderstanding? MR. JOHANSSON Well, yes, maybe… YES! You maybe aren’t looking for a “sick” – but a “CHICK/chicken”! TRINOCULAR SAVANT Well, yes, maybe… MR. JOHANSSON Let’s go, then, to my very own chick factory. It is located at the far end of the hospital. Yes, let’s HURRY to the chick factory! GENERAL 1-12 The chick factory: the terminal station. Everybody can’t be contained MR. JOHANSSON in my body. [Inaudable, sinister laughter.]

SAD SAVANT Maybe the chick factory is where we’ll find the tick?

MR. JOHANSSON La la la la la la la la. La la la la la la la. La la la la la la la. La la la la la la la la. SAVANTOVIT Here are only chicken. No ticken. CHICKEN Cha-cha-cha in a chicken factory. Cha-cha-cha in a pile of poultrygeists. Cha-cha-cha in a chicken factory. Cha-cha-cha in a pile of poultrygeists. Cha-cha chaos in factory. Cha-cha chaos in a pile of poultrygeists.

MR. JOHANSSON What do they pursue, if—obviously not— a sick or a chick? SATISFIED SAVANT I am hungry. MR. JOHANSSON Well, then we could GENERAL 10 go to the pub! MR. JOHANSSON Hm, I’m wondering about this … “thick” thing … might it be that they’re looking for a… thith-… kith-… KITCHEN?!? THE NARRATOR Or maybe a GENERAL 1-12 d-, d-, d-, d-, d-, d-, d-, d- d-, d-, d-, d-, d-, d-, d-, d- d-, d-, d-, d-, d-, d-, d-, d- di… TRINOCULAR SAVANT Well, yes, maybe. GENERAL 11 He said “maybe”!! GENERAL 6 Have you tasted Lame Lottie’s … LAME LOTTIE Shut up! GENERAL 4 … Uh, her calves? LAME LOTTIE Hurry to the mega cook room, y’all! UNKNOWN OLD LADY Savant B… oys(?), there you’ll get a nice surprise. MR. JOHANSSON Welcome to my PICTURESQUE tavern! Feel free to eat and do whatever pleases you. GENERAL 5 Let me recommend Lame Lottie’s personal jelly roll. Madam Emma K-Ultra has great recipes. Great recipes! LAME LOTTIE When you have munched her healthy nutrition, then run around in the kitchen, planlessly, and search for THE DRAGON JOHANSSON Mr. Johansson, who, in the spotlight, pulls down his underpants and pulls out… this whipping SUPER DICK! SAVANTOVIT This matches with the information in the papyrus scroll. BINOCULOR SAVANT That means, we have found the thick! SAVANTOVIT La la la la la la, la la la. La la la. La la la, la. La la. La! A!